Put Things into Perspective

Another chapter from my upcoming book, Emotion Hacks: 50 Ways to Feel Better Fast

**Two Quick Updates Before We Get to the Chapter**

• Emotion Hacks LIVE, A FREE virtual book launch and mini-workshop on 1/6/26: Register Now

• Office Hours with the Anger Professor: Starting in January, I’ll be hosting a weekly live for paid subscribers. I’ll take your questions in advance and during to help you better navigate emotionally charged situations.

Now, Hack 29 from Emotion Hacks: 50 Ways to Feel Better Fast

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Of Course, It Could Be Worse

Very high on the list of things you don’t want to say to a person while they’re emoting intensely is, “It could be worse.” Much like telling a person to “Look on the bright side” as a way of encouraging positive reappraisal, it comes across as minimizing and insensitive.¹ Ultimately, the problem is that of course it could be worse. That’s always true. You could be dealing with everything you’re dealing with AND something else terrible could happen. And hearing that in the moment is hurtful because you’re essentially being told, “You shouldn’t feel the way you feel right now.”

However, what’s tricky here is that putting things into perspective should and does work as an emotion hack. This strategy involves reframing situations to include the broader context. This could include reframing negative comments from a supervisor by remembering that it’s just one piece of feedback and that other evaluations have been positive. Or, when you’re slowed down at a fast-food outlet, remembering that this is a small annoyance in the grand scheme of things.

We have lots of evidence that learning to consider the broader context is an effective way to manage your feelings. In fact, this is one of the regulation strategies measured by the Cognitive Emotion Regulation Questionnaire (CERQ) I discussed in Hack 27, and it’s found to be negatively correlated with depression, anxiety, and stress. The more people endorsed thoughts such as “This could have been much worse” or “There are worse things in life,” the less depressed, anxious, and stressed they got.²

Don’t Deny Your Feelings

There are a few things that will make embracing putting things into perspective easier and more productive. First, much like positive reappraisal (Hack 27), you want to come to this conclusion on your own instead of having someone tell you. It simply does not feel good to have a person communicate essentially, “Your problems are not that significant” at a time when you really need their support. Second, you likely need a little bit of time to emote before trying to make this shift. Trying to abruptly shift to the broader context too soon after the trigger might be another way of denying your feelings instead of embracing them.

Finally, whether you’re encouraging yourself or other people, you want to make sure you don’t express this idea in a toxic way. Common refrains such as, “It could be worse” or “It’s not a big deal” or “It’s only a game” end up hurting more than they help. Although slight variations of these thoughts might work better. Try shifting to something like, “This feels really difficult right now, but in the long run it probably won’t feel as bad,” or perhaps, “I know you worked really hard on this, but one [game, poor performance, etc.] doesn’t define you.”

How to Put Things into Perspective

This emotion hack can be really valuable if done well. Here are a few strategies to try to embrace it in the moment.

• Ask yourself if this will matter in the long term: When faced with a stressful or frustrating situation, pause and question whether this issue will still feel important a year from now. A simple mental shift like this can help reduce emotional intensity and prevent overreacting to relatively minor setbacks.

• Adopt a third-person perspective: Try to look at the situation from the perspective of a friend and even consider how you might advise a friend dealing with it. A reframe like this can create some much-needed distance from your immediate emotions and encourage a different way of thinking.

• Take a moment to zoom out: When emotions are running high, try to visualize your current situation as a small piece of your overall life story. Recognizing the bigger picture can help shift focus away from immediate frustration and toward long-term growth.

• Embrace gratitude intentionally: Try to make actively recognizing the good things in your life, even in difficult moments, a habit. Too often we try to force gratitude on ourselves as a way of suppressing negative feelings. Instead, acknowledge both the real struggles and the real positives in your life.

These four strategies can go a long way toward helping you put things into perspective in a way that is healthy rather than toxic.

1. Variations of this insensitivity include, “It’s only a [game, job, test],” “At least you have [a job, your health, a home],” “It’s not a big deal,” and “You should be grateful.”

2. Interestingly, putting something into perspective doesn’t seem to decrease anger in the same way, probably because anger is so often about justice and fairness. Basically, if you are angry about being treated unfairly, telling yourself that other people have been treated even more unfairly doesn’t necessarily make it feel better.