From Fury to Finesse: Crafting Constructive Emails

Six tips to avoid sending unproductive messages in the heat of the moment.

I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there. We got angry over something (a social media post, an email from a coworker, a text from our ex, etc.), and we fired off an angry response without really thinking it through. It probably felt good in the moment and maybe we even felt a little bit of self-satisfaction after… a sense of “I showed them.”

Take a moment, though, to think about a time when you’ve received such an email. Someone was angry at you and sent you an insulting message… one that was full of bolded words and capital letters.

Was it effective? Did it change your mind? Did you want to help them?

I’ve received such messages and they pretty much always bother me. They feel rude and disrespectful, and like my efforts and hard work aren’t appreciated. What’s even worse, though, is sometimes the person writing is right in their criticism or concern but wrong in how they express it. They are making a valid point, but it’s hard to find because it’s hidden behind all those exclamation points.

And that is exactly why you should think twice about sending such an email. Your position might be absolutely correct but you are making it really easy for the person you’re angry with to ignore it by being rude.  Once you send a hostile email, the exchange stops being about your concern and starts being about your tone. 

Why Do We Do It?

Now, if you have sent such a message, you are certainly not alone.  It’s common and there are all sorts of reasons why electronic communication lends itself to this sort of thing.